In the Middle: Finding Where We Belong

In the past year we have gone from not fitting in to really not fitting in. Let me try to explain this a bit, hopefully I make sense. You see both my ASD kids are High Functioning. Yes I'm adding Lucy into this now. I don't need a diagnoses to know it is her older brother all over again. The high functioning asspect puts us in the middle. They don't fit in with NT kids and they don't fit in with lower functioning kids. So what are we to do.
A example of this would be Roger wanting to play baseball. The regular little league is not for him, all the tryouts and the pressure to win would just be to much for him. Besides with his motor skills problems (i.e. the kid has no balance) he probably would not make the team. On the other end is the special needs baseball. We don't fit in there either. What do you do when you are not high enough functioning for NT activities but at the same time too high for the special needs groups.
We have gone to events were yes everyone no matter the need is welcome, and no one has ever said you don't belong here but we just don't belong. The other parents talk about doctors and treatments etc we just don't have the medical needs. When your kids classmates are volunteering at the events it makes it worse on him. I want him to have the socialization but I also know he has to face these kids in the halls at school.
We are just at a loss right now. Where do we go? Where do we belong? Do we even belong in this group who have so many more struggles than us on a daily basis? We are stuck in the middle and we just need to find where we belong.
I know there are more families just like us we just have to find them.