Friday, March 22, 2013

Not Easier Just Different

This started as a comment to Jessi over at Deciphering Autism & My Son to this.  Go ahead go read it I'll wait............... 

This is for all not just Jessi who I adore. I left her a comment but stopped short I didn't want to overrun her post and leave a novel. What I started saying was "It doesn't get easier its just different. Y'all will become more confident in your abilities to ask for and receive what is needed. You will learn to negotiate all the bureaucratic red tape. There will be good teachers and some bad. People will come in and out of your lives some good some bad. Does the hurt of being ignored ever change no sorry it doesn't."

Its True: It never gets easier it just changes. Preschool turns into elementary, elementary to middle, middle to high school, etc... Life goes on. Everyone and everything around you keeps moving. With every new stage in life comes new and different challenges  Over time you may decide some are not worth your time and those challenges will go away. The thing is when one challenge is left behind another is around the corner.

Not all challenges are going to be bad. Some may drive you nuts while you are in the thick of it but in the end you look back and see I did that! Me I did that! Some of the best people you meet you are going to find at the worst times. Thing is they are the people you want around. They see the stress, frustration, pain, anger but they stay. They don't say oh too much for me gotta go. They stay. The ones that run let them run.

As much as the false stats say autism destroys marriages. The marriages I have seen in autistic families are stronger than any other. No matter if it is a autistic parent or autistic child. They are strong.

Yes while people like to say now while your beautiful child is failing state tests, not socially integrating as they like, showing behaviors the school doesn't like, any other negative you can think of: "They will never.... fill in the blank". They will. Your beautiful wondrous child will thrive to their very best. It may not be the same very best as say their brother or sister but they will be their best self.

Pain, frustration, challenges  anger, pride, joy, love. They are all part of life. Autism adds some extras in there. They make you who you are and who you will become. Part of it is how you choose to act. Everyone needs a pity party sometimes. Go for it but make sure you get back up and keep moving. You lose a friend go ahead morn that loss but keep moving forward. When you look back it is not to dwell or see what you would change. Hindsight is 20/20. You look back to see how for you have come. How much you have grown.

So The answer is no. It never gets easier just different.


  1. It is always great to be reminded of this. When we are in the trenches it is hard to take stock of where we have been and how much growth has been made. Thanks