Monday, December 2, 2013

It's NOT Your Fault

In the autism community people like to play the blame game. There is a new study every week it seems that something may cause autism. Typically they lean towards the blame the mom story line. I have even seen some moms go as far to write posts about how they caused their child's autism based on these studies. Let's clear something up right away, correlation does not equal causation. I can make a correlation between anything if I really wanted to.

I don't understand this blame game. I myself believe autism is genetic. I don't think it has anything to do with where you lived, what you ate while pregnate, or if you took medications. Really I don't. I personally have done plenty of things of these lists. No I will not link them because I will not be party to the blame game.

I for one will not allow some random person on the Internet make me feel guilty for what I had to do while I was pregnate. I did what needed to be done and in the end both of us came out alive and healthy.

A little back story. Pregnancy and I don't mix. I have always been considered high risk since the fourth month of my first pregnancy. You see I had preeclampsia all three times. The first was really bad. Like bad to the point I was on bed rest for months, had a ultrasound a week as well as mongering two times a week. I was induced a month early with my first because my blood pressures were so high it was dangerous for both of us. The first ended in a emergency c-section (like he was out in under 30 sec) because I became eclampsia and set every alarm off. I really don't remember much of it at all. I do remember being told the next day that 5 more min and Roger would have been gone. 10 more and they would have lost me.

So you look at that situation and yeah umm no your not going to get me to blame myself. I had severe headaches Tylenol, was all I was allowed. It helped some. Had I refused any of the monitoring , the csection, the medications I was given including the pitocin to be induced because of a fear of autism. My child and I would not be here today. We would have died. End of story. There's no correlation in that it is a fact. Without medical intervention including things that have a correlation to autism I would not be here today. So no I will not blame myself or the doctors, I did what needed to be done.

Second pregnancy was pretty uneventful until the end. My frind preeclampsia came to vist at the very end. This time though it was mild. Lucy was two weeks late and needed a little push to get out. So I was induced again. I had a successful vbac.

Third well he was a pain. Kidney infection for nine months. They gave me minor antibiotics to control it. I did go into preterm labor with him which they stopped. Preeclampsia came again so they went ahead and decied with the infection and preeclampsia they tried to induce a week early. He wasn't having it so I went home and came back after a few days. They tried again and it still don't work so we just stayed. Once someone said the dreaded c word he decied well I guess it's time. Seriously my labor was less than a hour with him. Someone should have threatened me with a csection days earlier.

If you really look at my situations I could even make a correlation that if you have a kidney infection no autism. :) sorry bad joke.

You look at my kids today. Two are autistic and the youngest is a hemophelliac. I don't think anything I did or didn't do caused it. I truly believe it was a roll of the genetic dice and here we are today. I wouldn't change a thing. I have seen the other option, I have been close to there and no I would not change a thing and risk not having my children at all.


  1. Please excuse any typos or spelling. I wrote this one on a iPad.