We have entered a new area of friends. What do you do when it's just too much? You are just overloaded and want to take a step back and breathe a bit.
That's where we are. Roger likes his friends, he likes afterschool activities. At last count our days a week he has something. Anime club, Latin club, chess club, drama club, and he's been talking about starting a new club for card (you-gi-oh mainly. Yeah the are lots of other high school kids that play). For the most part he does fine. When it comes to afterschool clubs if he's had a rough day and is at the brink he just comes home. Tells the teacher who is there or another member I won't be there today. No big deal.
His problem comes with friends. There are a couple that live nearby. They can be intense, his one friend is bouncy, loud, excitable, basically your typical teenage boy. They are good kids but even I sometimes have to say ok time for y'all to go to someone else's house. Roger gets this way too.
It's not that he doesn't like them. No he's not mad at them. He is just spent on the social interaction and just wants to go in his room, watch a anime and sort his cards alone. When he was younger he would meltdown and act out. Sometimes this would get him in trouble. I'm sorry but you can't hit people without there being consequences. As he has gotten older he's able to tell when he is getting close to the edge of a meltdown more often than not. He has also learned how to avoid them sometimes. You can't always avoid a meltdown but he does try.
Lately to spare his friends feelings. He doesn't want them to think he's mad he has started saying he's grounded when he just wants to be alone. It gives him a way to turn down his friends offers without hurting their feelings.
We have talked that he could just tell them that sometimes he just doesn't want to go. That's ok. They should understand. For him though it's just eaiser to say I'm grounded sorry cant go, rather than go into all the why nots.
For now this works, later on we will have to come up with something else. I just not think friends will take the I'm grounded line when he's 30.
Please excuse any spelling or typos. This was done on a iPad and autocorrect is just fun.