This is a hard post to write. Some of you will think I am crazy but I am telling the truth. I wrote a post about a month ago about my son and his connection to my cousin who died years ago. ( Read hereThe emails I got were amazing and supportive. Here is the whole story. I'm finally ready to tell it.
On August 17, 2002 my cousin died. He had gone to Mt. Cruiser in Washington state to climb with a friend. I was working that day. Towards the end of my shift around 8pm a coworker who worked search and rescue was called out. I thought nothing of it. A few minutes later I recieved a call that there had been an accadent. I don't think I have every driven so fast to get home. At the time I only had Roger he was 3. My parents went to the rangers office to be with my aunt and uncle. I went home.
At this time we knew nothing. All I knew was his friend had hiked for hours to get help after Jason fell. I put Roger to bed and a friend came over to stay with me. Around midnight Roger came downstairs and said "mama Jason can't come home. He has a big owie on his head. He said to tell you he is OK." At this point noone had found him yet. The next day we learned he died of a head injury. I was in shock he was my biggest supporter.
This was just the start. Roger went to the wake but not the funeral, I thought he was to little for that. I did go pick him up and take him to my aunt and uncles house afterwords. He kept saying hes OK hes happy he doesn't want everyone to be sad. Really this coming from a 3 year old.
This has gone on for years. Roger is 12 now from the time he was 3 until now I will come across him having full on conversations with someone who isn't there. When I ask who are you talking to he always answers Jason he looks out for me. It does bring him some comfort.
The first school he went to was a private catholic school this was before he ever got any diagnosis. His teacher would find him under a table talking and he would tell her I'm talking to Jason. She told me about it. She was very calm and said I can't explain this and I will not try your son is a lucky boy who has a guardian angel watching over him.
Fast forward to last year. We were driving and traffic slowed down a few times. We were in a Kia Sedona. The driver behind us a Nissan Tacoma. The driver hit us at around 50 MPH. My van was totaled, everyone walked away. Roger and my husband had concussions. The little kids in car seats unharmed.
After emailing his nuroligist about what happened and that he was not acting right even for him she said bring him in. I did and she asked him about what happened his response was chilling. "We got hit I started to come out of my seat but Jason pushed me back into my seat and held me so I would be safe."
I guess she saw my reaction and took me in the hallway and asked "who's Jason?" I told her thats my cousin who died years ago. She didn't freak out or anything just said maybe he was there maybe he is why none of you were seriously hurt. It's not as often as it used to be but he still talks to him and he feels comfort from it.
I know I may sound crazy but with everything that has happened in the past years I believe him. Even in death Jason is still looking after Roger, while it gives Roger comfort it does me as well I couldn't ask for a better person.