Hands Free Mama Book Review

Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters! by Rachel Macy Stafford
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

It was a good look at how being plugged in all the time is harmful. We may think we are connected but really we are missing real life. She has some great suggestions for unplugging. Such as start with just a short period of time. A hour even just ten minutes. Work your way up and think about what is really important. I liked her story of the canceled swim practice and the kids reaction when mom said we have nothing to do. Instead of rushing around trying to fill up time they just went home. They had unscheduled time to just be, if that fun included cleaning the garage for a bit. Not every moment of life needs to be scheduled down to the minute. We all need down time.
Overall it's a easy read and will make you think. Though I kinda laughed that I personally was reading this on my iPad.
Trust me put the phone and iPad down. I did. I left me in the truck for a whole 8 hours. Honestly I didn't miss it. I could actually visit with people and Facebook it went on without me. I know the horror.

I received a digital galley copy from netgalley for review. My copy expired but I will be looking to buy myself a hard copy of this one.

Really right now go buy this book.  http://www.amazon.com/Hands-Free-Mama-Putting-Perfection/dp/0310338131/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1390163310&sr=1-1&keywords=hands+free+mama

Why I Do This!

Wow I have had this blog for almost three years now. Jan 11, 2011 was the first post. It started as an outlet for myself. A way to organize what I was a thinking. Trust me it's organization to me. :) I never expected anyone to read it but you do. Actually quite a few people do. It's amazing an d humbling that anyone would take the time to read what I write. I know I can be all over the place rants and all. Hey I'm pretty sure I have been a asshole at times to. That's part of being human.

As for why I do this. It still is for me. It's a way for me to connect to the outside world. There are a few bloggers ok mainly two that I kind of latched onto when I started the Facebook page.They have   stayed with me for years now and never ran. Sure sometimes they look at me funny like really did you just say that? But overall they are there. To them I am grateful. (Looking at you Homeslice and Captain) there are more now that I call my computer friends but they we're the originals.

I never expected a hundred followers much less the close to 1,500 I have now. Don't get me wrong I'm happy you came, something got your attention, and you stuck around. When it comes down to it though I don't do this for followers. I don't do this for numbers. Even if they dropped to ten tomorrow I would still do this. I'm not in this for popularity. I could care less about being on some best of list. Besides then I might actually have to write for real. That would mean grammar and spelling all that technical stuff.

Anyways her I am three years later and still going. It's interesting to look back and see how I have changed and grown over the years. So I guess here's to more years.

Why We Get The Flu Shot

Alright, I am going here. My kids get the flu shot every year. They have since they were old enough to start. Yes I know all the claims that the is crap in them, that they don't work, and that it gives you the flu. All these claims are false.

I guess I'm more comfortable because I have inside knowledge about them. I know how they are made, how they are tested and what is in them. No not from doctor google, really that guy knows nothing. You see my oldest kids dad, he is a chemical engineer. Actually he works for a drug company. Guess what they do yep they are one ofthe makers of the flu shot. Their version is preservative free. That means no Thermisol (sorry if I spelled that wrong) in it. They are pretty safe. Sure there are some side effects, some people like myself cannot get them, but overall it's very mild.
If there was any reason not to get it he would be the first to call me and say don't do it.

So today when the kids got theirs I just kind of laughed when I saw the box from his company. Sure we have some sore arms around the house today. Much better than the other option. I have seen the other option and it is scary.

When Roger was a year old he had the flu which turned into pneumonia very quickly. A few years later he was officially dx with asthma. He has always had the flu shot every year since then. In 2009 I believe he contracted H1N1 also known as swine flu. There was no vaccine for it that year and it was really bad. I mean they were ready to hospitalize him. He was really sick for a couple of weeks. Luckily it did not turn into pneumonia that time. That was our last round of the flu.

Based on our experiances and my knowledge of the vaccines yes my kids get them every year. Two kids with asthma they need to have them. Asthma and the flu don't mix. Lucy gets it because not only does it protect her it's one more layer to make sure she does not bring it home to her brothers. I don't get it because I am not allowed to. I have had anaphaltic reactions to latex which makes me not a canadate for it.

Anyways at the end of the day everyone chooses what is best for their situation. This is mine. I have seen both sides and I much prefer the sore arm vrs a very sick child.

When Friends are Just Too Much.

We have entered a new area of friends. What do you do when it's just too much? You are just overloaded and want to take a step back and breathe a bit.

That's where we are. Roger likes his friends, he likes afterschool activities. At last count our days a week he has something. Anime club, Latin club, chess club, drama club, and he's been talking about starting a new club for card (you-gi-oh mainly. Yeah the are lots of other high school kids that play). For the most part he does fine. When it comes to afterschool clubs if he's had a rough day and is at the brink he just comes home. Tells the teacher who is there or another member I won't be there today. No big deal.

His problem comes with friends. There are a couple that live nearby. They can be intense, his one friend is bouncy, loud, excitable, basically your typical teenage boy. They are good kids but even I sometimes have to say ok time for y'all to go to someone else's house. Roger gets this way too.

It's not that he doesn't like them. No he's not mad at them. He is just spent on the social interaction and just wants to go in his room, watch a anime and sort his cards alone. When he was younger he would meltdown and act out. Sometimes this would get him in trouble. I'm sorry but you can't hit people without there being consequences. As he has gotten older he's able to tell when he is getting close to the edge of a meltdown more often than not. He has also learned how to avoid them sometimes. You can't always avoid a meltdown but he does try.

Lately to spare his friends feelings. He doesn't want them to think he's mad he has started saying he's grounded when he just wants to be alone. It gives him a way to turn down his friends offers without hurting their feelings.

We have talked that he could just tell them that sometimes he just doesn't want to go. That's ok. They should understand. For him though it's just eaiser to say I'm grounded sorry cant go, rather than go into all the why nots.

For now this works, later on we will have to come up with something else. I just not think friends will take the I'm grounded line when he's 30.

Please excuse any spelling or typos. This was done on a iPad and autocorrect is just fun.

Christmas Gifts

Here is my super short super easy gift guide to buying for autistics. There's only one step so pay attention.

1) Ask Them what they want.

Yep that's it. Just like you would for anyone else. Ask what they like. If they cannot tell you ask those close to them. Ask if they have a wish list. If all else fails gift card. While a gift card may not be the most personal it is much better than insulting someone by buying something years below or years above them.

A while back I wrote a post about gifts in our house. You can read it Here.

It's NOT Your Fault

In the autism community people like to play the blame game. There is a new study every week it seems that something may cause autism. Typically they lean towards the blame the mom story line. I have even seen some moms go as far to write posts about how they caused their child's autism based on these studies. Let's clear something up right away, correlation does not equal causation. I can make a correlation between anything if I really wanted to.

I don't understand this blame game. I myself believe autism is genetic. I don't think it has anything to do with where you lived, what you ate while pregnate, or if you took medications. Really I don't. I personally have done plenty of things of these lists. No I will not link them because I will not be party to the blame game.

I for one will not allow some random person on the Internet make me feel guilty for what I had to do while I was pregnate. I did what needed to be done and in the end both of us came out alive and healthy.

A little back story. Pregnancy and I don't mix. I have always been considered high risk since the fourth month of my first pregnancy. You see I had preeclampsia all three times. The first was really bad. Like bad to the point I was on bed rest for months, had a ultrasound a week as well as mongering two times a week. I was induced a month early with my first because my blood pressures were so high it was dangerous for both of us. The first ended in a emergency c-section (like he was out in under 30 sec) because I became eclampsia and set every alarm off. I really don't remember much of it at all. I do remember being told the next day that 5 more min and Roger would have been gone. 10 more and they would have lost me.

So you look at that situation and yeah umm no your not going to get me to blame myself. I had severe headaches Tylenol, was all I was allowed. It helped some. Had I refused any of the monitoring , the csection, the medications I was given including the pitocin to be induced because of a fear of autism. My child and I would not be here today. We would have died. End of story. There's no correlation in that it is a fact. Without medical intervention including things that have a correlation to autism I would not be here today. So no I will not blame myself or the doctors, I did what needed to be done.

Second pregnancy was pretty uneventful until the end. My frind preeclampsia came to vist at the very end. This time though it was mild. Lucy was two weeks late and needed a little push to get out. So I was induced again. I had a successful vbac.

Third well he was a pain. Kidney infection for nine months. They gave me minor antibiotics to control it. I did go into preterm labor with him which they stopped. Preeclampsia came again so they went ahead and decied with the infection and preeclampsia they tried to induce a week early. He wasn't having it so I went home and came back after a few days. They tried again and it still don't work so we just stayed. Once someone said the dreaded c word he decied well I guess it's time. Seriously my labor was less than a hour with him. Someone should have threatened me with a csection days earlier.

If you really look at my situations I could even make a correlation that if you have a kidney infection no autism. :) sorry bad joke.

You look at my kids today. Two are autistic and the youngest is a hemophelliac. I don't think anything I did or didn't do caused it. I truly believe it was a roll of the genetic dice and here we are today. I wouldn't change a thing. I have seen the other option, I have been close to there and no I would not change a thing and risk not having my children at all.