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OK I have to ask if I responded to this lady at the grocery store correctly, it all happened so fast. There was a woman at the store 2 people in front of us. I had My daughter with me as did she both girls were sick thats why they werent in school. Hers looked like death warmed over mine was pretty much over it. The elderly lady between us asked me if she was sick I said yes, she asked if she had had her flu shot I also said yes, that she is on day three of the flu but will be going back top school tomorrow. She then asked the lady in front the same thing only her response to the shot is what set me off.
When asked if her daughter had the flu shot she said: We dont do shots!
Me in my head: oh well to each their own.
Elderly lady: Can I ask Why? My daughter dosen't either.
Lady: because shots cause "the autism"
Eldery lady: Thats your only reason. Autism
Lady: yes don't you know autism steals kids and rips families apart, haven't you seen the latest article (Time??) and the comericals about it. (I'm assuming she ment autism speaks)
Me: EXCUSE ME!!! (both women look at me) Can I ask you a question do you have a child with autism
Lady: No
ME: teach autistic kids? have a friend with a autistic kid? (trying to see where she was comming from)
Lady: No
Me: so your judgement is from a poorly written article and commericals. hmm Well guess what I have two children with Autism. Guess what Autism did not steal them from me. if anything Autism has made our family stronger. If you gave me a magic pill that would remove autism from them we wouldn't take it, that child would not be my child who is perfect quirks and all.
Lady: I'm sorry I didn't mean ummmm
She was probably happy she was through the line at that point and could get the heck away from me. If my daughter wasn't there I probably would have blown up at her. As she walked away I just said Have a nice day. Elderly lady who started it all with a innocent question just smiled at us. Looked at Lucy and said she looks pretty perfect to me.
While this all happened very quickly less than 3 minutes, did I have the correct response? I mean I didn't physcially injure her like I wanted too. ALso why do these crazy people always end up near me? I feel like I'm a magnate for them?
I think you're fine. Given time, there are lots more things that could be said... (so you're saying you'd rather risk dead than risk autistic? etc) but in the time you had, you did well.
ReplyDeleteYAY! Great! I think that sometimes things expressed in anger can be damaging, but this is SPOT on.
ReplyDeletexo
Lara
Thanks
DeleteMy sons are both have autism. They are both at opposite ends of the spectrum too. Still, I would not change a thing. I think that your comments were perfectly, well stated.
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteI think you absolutely said the right thing. You needed to say something, because it's ignorance like that which spreads misconceptions about autism. Good for you for standing up, because not everyone would have been so brave.
ReplyDeleteWell husband would tell you I'm just a witch when it comes to people spreading bad info. He's seen it a few times when someone says something stupid and I have no impulse control I have to correct them.
DeleteYou were very eloquent in a hard situation. I don't know if I would have been as composed as you. Yes,you did/said the right thing. I try not to "out" my children publicly unless I have to explain an accommodation, but in this case I think you did more good than harm. Ignorance can only be cured by information. You gave her a good dose of it. Hopefully she will rethink her no shots policy. There are plenty of kids who are getting really sick from not getting vaccinated.
ReplyDeleteHaving a kid with you helps you not just smack her. As for the shots she proved it to me. Both our girls same ge day three of flu. Mine had the flu shot and she could have gone back on day three but gave her a extra day home, her daughter looked like death warmed over. She probably won't rethink her policy. But maybe next time she will think before she speaks on something she is not really sure on.
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