Friday, April 5, 2013

What Would I Say?

One of the most common questions you hear once you have been around a bit is what would you say to a parent new to the autism club?

You know a lot of people start with hey you're part of the club no one wants to join. I don't like that line. I feel like you are already starting in a bad place. I think anyone new to an autism diagnosis parent or the autistic themselves need more positive message. We need to hear theres nothing wrong with you.

 Lets change that from the club no one wants to get ready for an exciting and amazing journey. You are going to learn more about yourself than you ever thought. You are going to learn that you can take on school districts and win. You can ask for what you or your child need to be successful and most of the time people will just say ok. You're going to find out who your real friends are. Some family members and friends are going to walk away because they don't understand and they are choosing not to. Them walking away has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Yes it hurts but in the long run it's for the best. Your real friends will be right by your side no matter what.

You will be bombarded with doom and gloom at first, really I'm not lying. I highly suggest not opening any article well meaning family or friends send you. They will just make your head spin. While you are looking for the facts (everyone does it) take time and visit autistics blogs as well. Read what they have to say. Get many different points of view.

The reality is over time your view will probably change. Once you are past the initial stage where everyone tells you all the bad stuff you get to see all the good. Even reading this blog from the start till now my views have shifted a bit. Nothing too drastic but they have shifted. This is true with a lot of blogs. You can see the shift.

You will find your way. You will find what is right for you. If you choose not to follow some therapies thats fine. You are not a bad parent, you are not a bad person, you are being true to yourself and family. It is more than ok to say I just don't think that is right for me or my child. There is no one size fits all. Everything will be fine and welcome to the cool kids lunch table.

Number one thing to remember you are still you, your child is still your child. Still the same person you were before diagnosis. The diagnosis does not change who you are.


  1. I wish I could have read this as a new ASD parent. Thank you for the words of hope. I hope your message spreads far and wide! :)

  2. YUP... this is what I tell people also. I don't send them to Holland by way of Beirut. I don't tell them if you don't do "X" therapy your kid will never progress. If they are interested, I do give them a brief tour of our journey with the preface, this is what has worked for US, every kid and journey is different. The first thing I tell them to do is to breathe and get prepared for the journey. PEACE