Monday, April 22, 2013

Mommy Wars 2.0

I'm warning you now what I'm about to say is not a popular opinion. By far I am probably mostly on my own. So read at your own discretion.

Mommy wars, oh the fun of them. I'm not talking about the original mommy war stay at home vs working moms. I'm talking about mommy wars 2.0. Special needs vs typical moms. Typically it is seen that special needs moms have a harder fight than typical moms when it comes to kids. I don't necessarily see this as true. I see our challenges as special needs moms as different not always more challenging than typical moms. 

Now before you get all up and arms and leave nasty comments hear me out. Sure typical parents don't fight the schools over IEP's most don't even know what an IEP is, but they still fight schools only over different things such as bullying. They may not have the same behaviors special needs moms see, but they do see behaviors. Special needs moms are running all over town to go to appointments, typical moms sports. While they are running to two very different things they are still running, still juggling multiple schedules. Then add multiple children to the mix.

Every family has their own struggles, problems, and challenges  Many of them we will never see or know about. Each family though has the same goal to take care of their own. It doesn't matter if the goal is the perfect IEP (ha like that will happen) or just to get the school help stop the bully. The goal is the same get the best for your child. Mommy wars don't solve anything. Really all they do is divide parents even further. Frankly I don't have time to compare my problems to yours to see who has it worse. Lets call it a draw you help me and I'll help you. 

We all have challenges and no one has the right to tell someone else mine are worse than yours. Or that yours are not that bad. I've actually had someone tell me while I was in the midst of a self injury issue that well so and so's kid has cancer that's real problems. Really did that solve a thing? No it just added to my stress of I'm trying to get help and I'm getting snide comments instead.

Here's an example for you you tell me whose challenges are worse:
Family A- Special Needs Child
Family B- Pregnant Teenage Daughter
Family C- Drug Addicted Son
Family D- Single Parent Family
So who has it worse? I don't think I could make a call each family has to do what they need to do to get through their situation. They have their own unique challenges.

So lets put the pitchforks down and try to work with each other not against. Don't dismiss someone's problem try and understand. While it may seem minor to you to someone else it may not be. So if all you have to say to someone reaching out and asking for help is a snide comment, do us all a favor and just shut up.


  1. I agree too! Every situation is different, maybe not harder or easier, just different. The world would be a better place if we stop comparing and just support each other. :)

  2. Yep. Absolutely true. I am blessed to have a lot of things in this world. I won't make value judgements about the struggles of my other fellow human beings.