Tuesday, January 29, 2013

IEP Songs

The Title says it all IEP Songs. Enjoy

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Why I dislike Teen Mom.

*Yes I know not autism related, get over it!*

I open my facebook this morning and there it is yet another article about Teen Mom.  No not teen moms the MTV show Teen Mom. I guess one of the girls from the show is acting like well she's acting like a young girl.   They don't know how to respond to conflict, in this day and age you hit twitter and facebook and air all your problems out.

Personally I can not stand the show.  It glorifies teen pregnancy. Please save me with the no it doesn't   Really watch it, the girls get pregnant very young most are still in school and it just flows.  I have yet to see a story line that shows a high risk pregnancy.  After they have the baby everything is all great.  Sure things may have gone to hell with daddy but mom still hangs out with friends, has a house, basically dose what she wants and you know what you fail to see? The reality of being a teen mom. The girls on the show have massive paychecks to be on the show.  Most girls will not have that paycheck to help them out, they are going to have to get a job. Very seldom do you see a teen mom on the show go to work.

I was a teen mom and I can tell you I didn't own a house, have a brand new car, heck most of my friends disappeared   I worked two to three jobs at a time I didn't have time for a social life much less a date.  Sure I had what a lot of girls don't support from parents. I also had a high risk pregnancy, I almost died because of it.  I somehow managed to get my degree but it took me ten years to do it.

MTV try showing the reality, not the big paycheck I have no worries show. I know no one wants to see that. Show the high risk, show how much it costs, show that college will take you much longer, show how much work it is. Stop with the everything's great and look I'm a celebrity because I had a child at 16.  Maybe it's not MTV's fault maybe it is societies for making these girls celebrities. For most girls they don't have the easy ride that the teen mom girls do. There is no show for them, no house, no fans, no friends (they all leave), just real life and it's hard.  If they think their lives will be like the show they are in for a rude awakening.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Shopping: No Guile Style

Without reading can you tell the difference?
One thing everyone in this house can agree on is no one likes shopping which leaves it to me.  We have a bunch of rules we follow mostly unconscionably about what is bought.  I noticed this the other day when I was buying shampoo and conditioner for the kids. I went to pick up the coconut because well the smell is pretty weak, but had to put it back.  The reason the shampoo and conditioner are almost the same exact color.  Shampoo must be brighter than conditioner in this house so they know which to use first.  We tried the write numbers on the bottles but they always wash off. Yes even with a sharpie.  So we found bright shampoo works.  I have been doing this for who knows how long and never really thought about what I was doing until the other day.  It all started because of the executive functioning issues Roger would get in the shower but get all confused on what to do next, so we had to find a solution rather than me standing outside the door giving directions.  Sure they could read the bottle but that would be a added step and the less steps the better. They use bar soap for body wash nothing in a bottle.

Now look. Shampoo is brighter than conditioner no reading required.

Body Wash, This is a NO NO, looks too much like a shampoo bottle and even the colors are close.
Bar soap perfect, no matter the shape or color you know what it is for.

Easy to handle laundry soap.

This got me to thinking what other rules do we follow.  Laundry soap always liquid. I hate powdered it smells and it gets everywhere.  We have recently gone to the single use pod things to help the kids be able to do laundry without using half a bottle.  Fabric softener only Snuggle, the others smell to strong.  The boys will only use axe deodorant. The swear by it.  They will not use the body wash or spray because it smells to strong.  I'm not going to fight that logic.  Mom's stuff only Tampax or Always, why because they are the only ones on the market with zero latex.

Now most teenagers want to shop at Abercrombie and Finch, Aeropostale  Gap, you know all the high end stores not mine.  He says its to noisy and smells bad in the stores.  He also hates the clothes. Says they fit strange and he doesn't like how they feel. Another thing I will not fight Target it is then.  Second hand jeans are the best someone else has already worn them in for you.

There are many others certain things are only bought at certain stores because one store brand is better than another. Some brands are bought over another because of smell, look, taste, or feel.  Seriously there is a such thing as a too cheesy cheese stick.  Even the dog has rules.  He will only eat one brand of dog food and only likes one type of treat.


I know we are not the only ones what are some of the rules you follow on products you buy? If you think you don't think about I bet you will be as surprised as I was when you really think about your shopping habits.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Most Asinine Things Said About Autism

I asked and boy did everyone answer.  The question What is the most asinine thing that has ever been said to you about autism?  Some are funny because well sometimes you just look at people and think really did you just say that.  Some are outright mean, and some just make your realize how much people really don't know about autism.  So without further ado in no particular order I give you: The most asinine things said about autism.

  1. you can't have two with autism that doesn't happen. (Me)
  2.  just treat him like a normal kid he will learn and become normal.
  3. Tammy... my stepdaughter is 6, and she has a few girls in school who pick on her... principal makes her into a monster when she defended herself
  4. "He looks so normal" (Autism With a Side of Fries)
  5. K.G...A mom, and I use the word loosely, told me that my son shouldn't be around others because he would "give" everyone else Autism. I asked her if she was serious and she looked at me and said "You should know that cause he is your son and he is diseased from somewhere..."
  6. T.E... she will never ride a bike cause shes uncoordinated... she has defied the odds so far
  7. D.H... "A good stiff hand would help him straighten out"... people just don't get it.
  8. C.S... My son is 14 now. When he was younger, we had someone tell us that if we would just spank him, he would behave right.
  9. J.H...Just spank them, there is nothing wrong with him oh and my favorite we all have a touch of autism oh I loved the of he is just spoil too had a older lady in walmart say just spank his spoil butt my 4 year old (now 6) let her have it
  10. M.C... He needs to be shamed into potty training.
  11. H.R... My son is also 14 & I have been told many times that he would outgrow it! If only it was so easy
  12. Anonymous..."she can't have autism, she looks me in the eyes" "she can't have autism, she lets me look in her ears, nose and eyes, if she has autism she wouldn't let me touch her", which we all know isn't true (and ironically that was the first time she let the doc do all that), "you need to discipline her more...."
  13. M.O...Well hes almost 7 yrs old he should be doing (fill in with whatever milestone not yet met) by now...Really?
  14. P.B...Is that what serial killers have wrong in there genes? Is it where you like scream curse words and jerk? ? I could go on for days on the asinine crap I've been asked!
  15. J.B....Someone from DOCS (Department of Children's Services) asked if he will grow out of it? Her (older and more experienced) colleague gave her a very dirty look so we saved the lecture for her to give later. Lesson here...READ THE FILE!!!
  16. R.G...My father and uncle said they could whip it out of my son
  17. My favorite is the woman who was told my son was autistic and said "He has autism? are you sure he should be in the playgroup with kids who don't have autism?" It was like he had cooties, or rabies. My FIL recently told my husband that my emotionally cold mothering caused Ewan's autism. I think he watched some 40 year old documentary or something. (StayAtHomeCrazy)
  18. W.R...My son's family Dr asked me at his check up if he still had autism. Nope---he got cured! Moron.
  19.  "Oh it can't be any worse than having 5 kids." (There's Tulips in Holland)
  20. K.O....A cousin actually suggested it might be demon possession
  21. "But, she's so pretty." Yes, Ass, Autism is beautiful. (My Kids are Awe-tistic)
  22. My son's principal telling me that she knows "all about Autism" because she took a course...10 years ago. (I'm A Mom Too)
  23.  My sister telling me, "you have only one child, how bad could it be?" SERIOUSLY! (Me And My Professor)
  24.  i have no references...just that the medical labs my dr did were wrong and onlh a DAN dr labs were right lol
  25.  That it was caused by bad parenting. (Autism Art Project)
  26. Autism means you don't really understand what people say in front of you, even if you can kind of fake it by typing" (Yes That Too)
  27. Bleach enemas for curing autism (Autismum)
  28.  "Just because he has autism should I give him my wallet, lets act inappropriate and put a label on it called autism" I was defending another boy with autism at the playground after a parent screamed at the poor boy (Adventures On The Spectrum)
  29. I was once told that I caused my daughter's autism simply because I was a new mom and I didn't know what I was doing. Apparently, I cleaned and sanitized my house too much, so that's how I caused it. Seriously. (Speaking On The Spectrum Blog)
  30. My father-in-law suggested it was from having my kids too close together in age, lol. (There's Tulips in Holland)
  31. I was told I made up my sons Autism and that his problems stemmed from me being a shitty mother who didn't pay enough attention to him and put him in daycare.. (The-Neurotypical-Mom)
  32. M.O... My son is "too happy to be autistic"
  33. I have been told: a) God blessed me with an autistic child (that's the part I like) because he knew I was strong enough to handle "it" (that's the part I don't like) b) eating grilled Swordfish once while in Cape Cod c) from sunbathing d) because I live in New York City ....(Emma's Hope Book)
  34. K.K...Grace it too smart to be autistic and has such a large vocabulary
  35. M.S..His behavior is getting worse because now that you've had him diagnosed you are treating him differently. I also never know what to make of the ones who say they could never tell- I try to take it as a compliment, but it always feels so invalidating!! My blog is This is not what I signed up for, but I've not written on this topic that I can remember....
  36. I'm a dude and a pretty big dude so people tend not to tell ME crazy things about autism.My wife... now that is a different story. Now keep in mind that she is Mexican and the person that told her this was uneducated and from another country... but they told her: "Sometimes the children have to pay for the sins of their parents."I was nowhere around or I would have beat the shit outta the guy. (lous-land)
  37.  I tried to take my boy to a birthday party about 1 year after he had been diagnosed at one of those toddler gym places. The instructor/party leader saw that my son was having a hard time and said, "You should really enroll him in a class here, because he's obviously not used to other children and that's why he has no social skills." I politely informed her that my kiddo was autistic and exposed to other children frequently, to which she said, "Is he on any medication?" Because - after all - I'd tell her if he was, right? (ReinventingMommy)
  38. That Autistic people can't contribute to society..... HELLO, OIF/OEF veteran here<<<< (ancora.impartial)
  39. That I don't really have autism; I just think there's something wrong with me because my parents took me to psychiatrists for so many years. (UnstrangeMind)

Thank You to everyone who contributed to this list.  Click on the links and visit some of the 

pages that helped out as well. Also check out the video.

Monday, January 14, 2013


Yep that's right someone Roger trusted got mad and outed him at school.  He has told very few people he is autistic and that's his choice.  He dose share with closer friends whom he feels he can trust.  One of these people broke that trust. I'm still getting bits and pieces of the story.  I do know he already asked the person who did it why? He also let them know he no longer wanted to be friends because he can't be friends with someone he can not trust.

 Not sure what they thought they were going to get out of it? Embarrass him? No that didn't happen. Make people not like him? That didn't happen either.  The only person that has any obvious backlash from the whole situation is the person that ran their mouth.  They are the embarrassed one.  They are the one that no one wants to talk to because now they are known as someone that can't keep their mouth shut something very important to teenagers.

That dose not mean there has been no negative effect on Roger.  Sure no one has been mean to him because of the disclosure but now everyone has questions.  He unwilling has been thrust into the spotlight and become the poster boy for autism.  How would you like it if overnight you went from minding your own business to a onslaught of questions?  It's not fun.

Do I think any of the kids mean harm with their questions? Of course I don't.  They don't realize being questioned all day long is stressful and overwhelming.  Some of the questions are about autism. Some are just random fact questions that they think he should know.  He knows a lot but he dose not know everything.

Before I even found out about all this one of his teachers and his case manager had stepped in and offered their help.  Case manager said send them to me.  The teacher has offered her classroom anytime during the day as a safe place that he can go.  I have a call into the principle who has been great this year so I'm sure she will have her own ideas of what can be done at school to help alleviate his stress.

As for at home, we have talked a little about it.  He knows that he dose not have to answer any questions if he dose not want too.  He can ask people to please leave him alone, go to a teacher ask for help if needed.  If he wants to answer the question go for it.  It is his choice.  It may not have been his choice to be thrust in the spot light but it is his choice if he wants to back away from it or stand in it.  No matter what he decides to do it will be his choice and he has the support of his family and teachers either way. As of now his focus is getting into one of the high school honors programs, and make sure he gets his schedule set right so he can get into the college of his choice. (that is a whole other post)

The overall thing we all need to remember is it is the autistic individual's right to decide when, how, and if other people are told.  No one has the right to take that away from them and thrust them into the spotlight.

Friday, January 11, 2013


*this blog is not to be taken as medical advice. If you or someone you love are showing signs of self harm contact your family doctor or call Self-Injury Hotline SAFE (Self Abuse Finally Ends) Alternatives Program  www.selfinjury.com 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)  for a full list of hotline visit People to call*

Self-Injury just saying it is enough for people to step back and go what?  It is also something many families have experience with.  We do as well. I myself have burnt myself with a lighter in my past.  I know others who have cut or battled a eating disorder.  It typically is a sign that something is going on.  Those who do it also know how to hide it well. Sometimes it is a impulsive and unconscious behavior to release frustration.

The Mayo Clinic defines self-injury as :
"Self-injury, also called self-harm, is the act of deliberately harming your own body, such as cutting or burning yourself. It's typically not meant as a suicide attempt. Rather, self-injury is an unhealthy way to cope with emotional pain, intense anger and frustration.
While self-injury may bring a momentary sense of calm and a release of tension, it's usually followed by guilt and shame and the return of painful emotions. And with self-injury comes the possibility of more serious and even fatal self-aggressive actions.
Because self-injury is often done impulsively, it can be considered an impulse-control behavior problem. Self-injury may be linked to a variety of mental disorders, such as depression, eating disorders and borderline personality disorder." (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/self-injury/DS00775)
So why am I bring this up.  I'm bringing it up because it is something that we need to be on the look out for.  There have been very few studies on Self injury and autism but the few that have been done do not show a increase in the rate of self injury between autism vs other disorders such as schizophernia.  One study did state that "Of interest, children with autism and developmental disability seem to be more prone to SIB than children with only developmental disability." (http://www.oadd.org/publications/journal/issues/vol9no2/v9n2download/art12Weiss.pdf)  
What dose Self-injury look like. That depends on the person. Self Injury can take on many forms, some more noticeable than others. Some examples are:
  • "Burning (with lit matches, cigarettes or hot sharp objects like knives)
  • Carving words or symbols on the skin
  • Breaking bones
  • Hitting or punching
  • Piercing the skin with sharp objects
  • Head banging
  • Biting
  • Pulling out hair
  • Persistently picking at or interfering with wound healing
Most frequently, the arms, legs and front of the torso are the targets of self-injury because these areas can be easily reached and easily hidden under clothing. But any area of the body may be used for self-injury. People who self-injure may use more than one method to harm themselves." (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/self-injury/DS00775/DSECTION=symptoms)
There are many myths about self harm some include:
  • It is for attention: Self Injury is not about attention, it serves to relieve stress, emotional pain, or frustration.
  • Self Injury is a filed suicide attempt: While yes self injury can progress to suicide in some people it is not a failed attempt. Rather it is a coping skill to deal with their surroundings.
  • "People who self-injure are crazy and should be locked up. Tracy Alderman, Ph.D., author of The Scarred Soul, addressed this:
“Fear can lead to dangerous overreactions. In dealing with clients who hurt themselves, you will probably feel fear. . . . Hospitalizing clients for self-inflicted violence is one such form of overreaction. Many therapists, because they do not possess an adequate understanding of SIV, will use extreme measures to assure (they think) their clients’ best interests. However, few people who self-injure need to be hospitalized or institutionalized. The vast majority of self-inflicted wounds are neither life threatening nor require medical treatment. Hospitalizing a client involuntarily for these issues can be damaging in several ways. Because SIV is closely related to feelings of lack of control and overwhelming emotional states, placing someone in a setting that by its nature evokes these feelings is very likely to make matters worse, and may lead to an incident of SIV. In addition, involuntary hospitalization often affects the therapeutic relationship in negative ways, eroding trust, communication, rapport, and honesty. Caution should be used when assessing a client’s level of threat to self or others. In most cases, SIV is not life threatening. . . . Because SIV is so misunderstood, clinicians often overreact and provide treatment that is contraindicated." (http://drkathleenyoung.wordpress.com/2010/02/28/common-myths-about-self-injury/)

  • Self Injury is a form of manipulation   During the period of self injury is not the time to judge.  People who self injury typically hide it or have little to any control over what they are doing. 
  • That only females self harm: This is false males and females both self injure but females tend to be more likely to.
  • Self Injury is a purposeful act: While yes in some cases the self injurer knows what they are doing and are purposely doing it to relieve stress, pain or frustration for many the act of self injury is a impulse which they have little to no control over.
So what do you do? How can you stop it? The answer depends on age, mental capacity, and the reasons behind the self injury.  There is no set protocol for treatment. Number one you have to find out the cause. Is it pain? stress? frustration? We went through a time where whenever asked to write in school Roger would try to stab himself with his pencil.  Once the teacher took notice and realized what was the cause she removed the cause. Now rather than handwriting papers he can type. By removing the stress we removed the behavior. Now it is not always so easy. Sometimes there is no apparent reason and you have to dig a bit.  Are you listening to the other person? No really are you listening? Sometimes we get so busy we don't stop for just a minute and listen not only to spoken words but the unspoken. Are they holding their ear and headbanging? Maybe a ear infection. If the room you are in chaotic? Maybe they are overstimulated and are trying to communicate the need to leave. It may just be way to get frustration out.  The thing is if we don't stop pay attention and listen the frustration is only going to grow not get better.

The number one thing is if you or someone you know is showing signs of self injury please don't search the internet for a cure pick up a phone and call for help.  Your family doctor is a great resource to send you in the right direction. 

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Poems By: Scott Lentine

I received a email from Scott and he wanted to share some poems with everyone so here he is:

 Just a Normal Day

Never knowing what to say

Never knowing what to do

Always looking for clues

Just a normal day

Feeling unsure

Totally perplexed with everyday life

Always on edge never certain

I wish I could lift this curtain

Needing to constantly satisfy my need for information

Always online searching for new revelations

Going from site to site

Obtaining new insights every night

Trying to connect with people my age

Attempting to reveal my unique vision

But ending up alone and unengaged

Feeling like my needs a total revision

Just a normal day

 Can’t You See

Can’t you see

I just want to have a friend

Can’t you see

I need the same connections in the end

Can’t you see

I want a good job

Can’t you see

I need to have stability and dependence and part of the general mob

Can’t you see

I want to be independent on my own

Can’t you see

I want to be able to have my own home

Can’t you see

I want the same things as everyone else

Can’t you see

I want to be appreciated for myself

  The Ode to the Autistic Man

Try to understand the challenges that I face

I would like to be accepted as a human in all places

Where I will end up in life I don’t know

But I hope to be successful wherever I go

I would like to expand my social skills in life

Making new friends would be very nice

Stand proud for the autistic man

For he will find a new fan

I hope to overcome the odds I face today

Increased acceptance will lead me to a brighter day

By the age of 20, I will have made tremendous strides

I know in the future, life will continue to be an interesting ride

I have made new friends by the year

I will be given tremendous respect by my family and peers

I hope to get noted for bringing the issue of autism to the common man

So that autistic people can be accepted in this great land

Stand proud for the autistic man

For he will find a new fan

I hope to overcome the odds I face today

Increased acceptance will lead me to a brighter day

Marshfield Memories poem

Today is a beautiful day on the beach
There are plenty of people and dogs to see
The water is warm and the sky is bright
And seeing some people flying a kite

I am having a fun time with cousins and friends
Hoping that this day will never end
The ocean and sands are comfortable and feel so right
Taking a walk towards Brant Rock in the strong sunlight

Now it is the evening of the third of July
Watching the amazing fireworks from the seawall go by
Talking with family about the latest moments of the day
And meeting some new friends along the way

It was a great time on the beach today
Reading a book and going into the ocean on a bright clear day
These are moments that I will remember for a long time
Being on the beach on a nice warm day is truly sublime

I am Scott Lentine, a 25 year old man with high-functioning autism (PDD-NOS/Asperger's) from Billerica, Massachusetts, outside of Boston and summer resident of Fieldston Beach, Marshfield, south of Boston. I was diagnosed at 18 months and lost some speech, but gained back the speech at 5 years old. I graduated from Merrimack College magna cum laude with a Bachelor's Degree in Religious Studies with a Biology minor. I am currently an office intern at the Arc of Massachusetts in Waltham, where I try to persuade lawmakers to pass key disability resources legislation to improve the lives of people with developmental disabilities. I am interested in data clerical entry duties, hospital settings, autism non-profit organizations, and research type work. I have some poems about autism in this email that I wanted you read and show to additional people you know on the spectrum and their families and friends. My autism song poems are now featured on Claire LaZebnik's blog, Susan Senator's blog, John Elder Robison's Look Me in the Eye blog, Jess Wilson's Diary of a Mom blog, Lisa Quinones Fontanez's Autism Wonderland blog, the Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid blog, Cheryl Dorfman's blog, Flannery Sullivan's Living on the Spectrum: The Connor Chronicles blog and Seth Mnookin's PLOS blog. The reviews from commenters have been great! My poems have also been featured on Ellen Seidman's Love that Max blog and Dr. Tony Attwood's blog as well. I regularly communicate via email with people such as Alysia Butler, Stephen Shore, Susan Senator, and John Elder Robison. My poems have gotten praise from entertainers such as Paul Krassner, Tom Rush, John Sebastian, drummer Chad Wackerman, singer Gary Portnoy (he did the theme song to the TV classic Cheers), trailer voice over artist Don Morrow, songwriter/composer Van Dyke Parks, journalists Anna Tarkov and Sacha Pfeiffer of WBUR (Boston's NPR station), Chicago (band) singer Bill Champlin, punk legend Jello Biafra of the Dead Kennedys, and saxophonist Dave Koz. My interests include meeting new people, dogs, the beach in Marshfield, going to Boston, traveling, modern science, politics, various religions, movies, going to concerts, listening to music, poetry, and visiting my cousins and other relatives, especially my grandmother on Mom's side.  I even got a support letter email from President Obama for autism advocacy. I would also like to have health care coverage and employment/social services expanded for people on the autism spectrum during the second term of Obama's presidency. 

Friday, January 4, 2013

Fun Fact Friday

Ok I admit it I ripped this idea off of someone else. As soon as I remember who I'll let you know. So since things can't always be serious around here I'm going to do my own spin on this. The original was three facts about yourself. Well I will give you one fact about each person in the No Guile family. Some will be silly some serious. So you in?

Mom: is not afraid of anything except turtles, opening champagne bottles (yes I'm in my 30s and can't do this), and bathroom mirrors in a dark bathroom. Bathroom door in bedroom must be closed at night and I will reach my hand into a bathroom and turn the light on before I go in. Thanks bloody Mary story I heard when I was like ten you messed me up for life.

Dad: has a serious attachment to his truck. It's the first vehicle he ever bought new. She's eleven years old over 300,000 miles  all beat up from being a work truck and still kicking. Oh he will only buy Fords.

Roger: is currently obsessed with finding a charger for a first generation iPod shuffle.

John: is girl crazy at ten years old.

Lucy: started 3rd grade this year barley reading at a first grade level, two months in she was at a 5th grade level, now half way through she's a 7th grade level. How dose this happen who knows.

Porkchop: is fearless, I swear he is missing whatever tells up be be scared. He will climb to the top of he shed and has been jumping ramps on his back for the past year.

There's ours for this week. Have any you want to share? Leave a comment, we love comments.

Edited: The Crumb Diaries  is who deserves credit for the idea of fun fact Friday.

Thursday, January 3, 2013


*Warning this post will make some people mad, I am just trying to show another point of view.*

Every once in a while the subject of restraints in school come up.  I don't know what is with our society that every time their is misuse everyone jumps on the ban bandwagon.  Banning everything is not the answer.  No I am not for the misuse of restraints, but when used appropriately restraints can be a valuable tool.

Yes there are bad seeds in every profession but I can tell you most teachers when properly trained on when and how to use restraint use it appropriately and as a last result.  We have all heard of the padded rooms.  What do you think when you hear padded room? Probably something like you see in the movies a small room with a door and no lights.  With the way people talk you probably also think any child in a school can be subject to the padded room as a restraint.  Actually it is quite the opposite. I used to work in a school that did have a padded room. While it was a small area probably about the size of a bathroom there was no door and a trained aide would be present at the opening.  To use the room it had to be in the IEP. No ifs ands or buts if its not in the IEP could not be used.  I have only ever seen it used for two students and sometimes they felt themselves getting angry and went there themselves.  This was not a place for punishment it was a safe place for them cool off.  Have you ever seen a child punch their hand through a plate glass window? I have it causes a lot of injuries.  When having the option of a safe place to go which the parents were 100% on board the injuries stopped.

*Disclaimer: my examples are not meant to compare to autism or a child in a school. These are real life situations I lived. *

Restraints are used in many fields but one thing is the same it is always for safety never as punishment.  I have worked as a medic where I did a lot of psych transfers.  Not all my patients needed restraints but some did. Being in a enclosed ambulance with a person having a psychotic break is dangerous not only to the patient but to myself as well.  If I get hurt I'm am useless to my patients.  We also did the prison transports every last person we took out of the prison was restrained. It was protocol. It was for public safety.

Besides working as a medic I have worked many years on a alzheimer's ward where I have had to physically take down grown men twice my size for either their safety or my own.  I have been seriously injured by patients.  One guy punched me so hard I was knocked out.  In another case our maintenance guys watched a man punch me knock me down then pick me up by my arm and drag me down the hallway.  If they had not been trained in restraining techniques my injuries could have been much worse than a broken arm.

Now think about it what if your child was in school and another child attacked them.  The reason for the attack are not necessary   But now we have banned all restraints so the staff can not jump in and help.  They have no training on how to help without everyone getting hurt. Yep pulling a child off of another is considered a restraint. Do we just let the child be attacked until the other is tired?  How about my first example of the child who was prone to punching windows. Do we just let her run around braking windows and cutting herself up? Why would we allow this to happen because we are afraid of restraints being misused.

I'm not saying restraints are never misused, sure they are.  It happens, but the answer is not a all out ban.  The answer is better training and not only for behavioral and special educators but all staff.  In my experience I needed the maintenance guys help they were the only ones available and we couldn't wait for someone else to be free to help.

Having the entire school staff trained adds a extra level of safety for everyone.  First someone other than the aide or sped teacher could witness a event, maybe the teacher is the target.  Someone else can step in. It is also protection for the child.  If everyone is trained then everyone knows how and when restraint is appropriate   If most staff are not trained they have to take the person who is trained word on it.  If everyone is trained and notice its being done wrong or inappropriately they can step in and say no this is not right stop.

So no I am not against restraints. I believe when used correctly and appropriately restraints are a valuable tool. I would not want to be on either side of the coin my child being seriously injured or my child seriously injuring someone because we as a society have made a decision based on fear and banned the use of all restraints.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Year

Yep everyone is doing it, you know what I'm talking about your feed is probably full of them.  The New Years Post!  Full of their resolutions for the upcoming year most of which we know will be broken by next month if not next week.  I'll let Daddy Doin Work explain why in his post here.

Our house has never been one to make them, I'm not going to say I'm going to do this or that because really I know I'm not.  Unless as Daddy says it's important to me I'm not going to.  Now that being said it doesn't mean we can't make goals for ourselves.  I still don't do the whole yearly goal because it is just to far out. I prefer short term. I need to find a job.  I can't just say I will find a job in 2013 that gives me 365 days.  I will find a job no later than March. I have to. If I don't we will always be renting from slumlords and never get out from under the debt we have.  Really that is the only think I am concentrating on.  I will set aside a couple hours every day for job search.  No job is out of reach am I am remotely qualified I will apply.  Someone has to give me a chance.  

Now lets throw autism in this mix: Being a house with multiple dxs including autism we just don't know what may happen tomorrow. I can have all the intentions of the world to run everyday but the meltdowns may make it impossible one day.  So lets say you have the goal to run every day with the goal of running a 5k (look tangible measurement), but meltdowns, a sick kid, or weather prevents you from running everyday.  Don't beat yourself up over it just run again the next day.  Look at your measurable goal of running the 5k not that you didn't run everyday. Just because you skip a day dose not mean you wont meet the goal. 

So having a list is great, really the gyms love the new years they get a bunch of new memberships that no one uses. Win win for them more money with little work.  Look at the sales ads from this weekend all fitness equipment that people will buy up use for a few days and then it will collect dust.  Why because some people are not committed to working out and losing weight and that's fine. So if you make your list great just be reasonable.