**** If you deiced I am writing this about you don't leave me nasty comments think about what you are doing or saying that would make you think that.********
We all have them in our lives. Toxic people! You know the negative ones who seem to always be in crisis. They don't seem to want to help themselves they just want everyone else to be oh poor you, you have it so hard. These can be people you know in real life, a Facebook friend, a Facebook page you follow, Heck even a blog you may follow could be toxic.
You know the ones. The vague status, just trying to get oh whats going on? Anything I can do to help? Sure everyone vents you have too but when it all becomes drama. It also becomes topic.
There are a few things I have learned in my time on this earth. If someone starts anything with I'm not asking for anything. Yeah that means I wont directly ask but if you happen to offer after I tell you my sob story I will not refuse.
When they complain about having no money and no job and well you know they are not even looking. Yeah they just want someone else to do everything for them. It's one thing to be I lost my job and this job market is so tough. I've been applying everywhere and now my bills are past due, etc... vs I haven't worked in years because *insert excuse here* now I can't pay my bills. I'm sorry but if you are able body get your ass out there and get a job at least try, stop bitching because frankly I don't feel sorry for you. I know the market is bad I have been unemployed myself for five years. I keep looking. I keep trying.
Everyone has hard times. Everyone its ow you deal with them is what makes you toxic or not. Do you just bitch and moan, or do you come up with solutions. I have a friend whose husband lost is job recently. They have very little in savings and who knows when he will be able to find a new one. Sure she bitched a little about it, but you know what else she did? She picked herself up and said hey I gotta do something and is now looking to start er own furniture refinishing business. Will it work? Who knows. I hope it does for her but if it doesn't she tried. She did something she didn't make excuses and wait for others to swoop in and pay her bills and feed her kids.
I used to rent from a guy who didn't pay his mortgage for months. When the house went into foreclosure he was all wait what and really he expected someone else to pay it for him. It's not that he didn't have the money all those months he just close to spend it on other things and not his house.
A couple months ago my cell got shut off temporarily. There were people that were just I couldn't live without mine. Well when you have a choice cell phone or electric bill and food you pay what? What is your priority. Feeding your kids and keeping them warm and fed or having your cell phone.
Another positive example. I know of a person who lost everything. I mean everything her house, her car, all her stuff to a natural disaster. Sure tat takes a toll but she is also one of the most resilient people I know. She picked up what she could and just keeps going. Even though she doesn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out right now she still collected items for others involved in another natural disaster and took it to them. She took what may ave been the worst experience of her life and turned it into good.
I get it people have bad days, bad weeks, heck sometimes you just have a bad month. If all you can talk about is the negative well then you are toxic. I am starting to get rid of the toxic people in my life. No more listening to poor me for months on end do something anything. No more bullies, No more vague look at me, no more pay my bills for me. I am going to stick with the people who look to the positive.