Monday, August 19, 2013


This keeps coming up for me. I am the mother of four children, two of whom are autistic. So what right. I'm just another mom. I'm just doing a lot of the same things laundry, cooking, cleaning, homework, etc... Many of the same things others do. Sure I have a few extra things like IEP's and more doctors than I can keep track of. That's not the point of this though.

The question I have is why am I held to this unreachable standard of motherhood where I cannot complain and laugh? Why does this standard only apply to two of my children? You see it is perfectly fine for me laugh and get frustrated with my two non-autistic kids but how dare I express frustration or laugh at something one of my autistic kids does I am mean and spiteful and a bully. See when the child is normal your just a mom when the child is special needs your a bully for the same action.

NO! NO! NO! That is not the case. I can laugh at something the kids do and not be putting them down. Guess what all of us parents do it. I bet when you were growing up your parents laughed at things you did. See this is what people don't get I'm not laughing at the kids. I'm laughing at what they did.

So why is it that if you have "normal" children it's OK to laugh, make jokes, and get frustrated but not for the special needs parents. You know there is this little thing that helps all of us parents get through parenting and some of the harder times special needs or not, it's a sense of humor. I'm sorry if I didn't get the memo that the day my child was dx I was supposed to lose mine forever and be a depressed martyr. That's not going to happen around here.

So the next time you feel the need to judge another parent for what you see as mean and belittling why don't you take a step back and think do you apply that to all mothers or just her?

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