*ranty some cursing*
Well we have all heard and probably said "Actions speak louder than words" or some variation of it. Does anyone really think about what this means? Really I don;t think they do I typically hear this from people who well hey we all know the holier than thou, I want everyone to love me and think I'm sweet and perfect even though I am the biggest most judgmental bitch alive.
So put some thought behind it. Here are a couple examples:
Example One: Child gets in trouble for something is told by parent no your not going with me today, five minutes later come on get your stuff lets go. OK so you verbally told the child they couldn't do whatever they shouldn't be doing set out a punishment yet never followed through. Your action of taking them with you tells them I can do what I did, it doesn't matter.
Example Two: When you run into someone tell them how much you missed them, etc. Yet you never text, call, and turn down all invites from the person. Yeah your actions say you don't matter to me but if I'm in front of you I will say otherwise.
Example Three: A family with 2 kids comes over. every-time they do you tell child a they can have a sleepover another night. Child B is invited for sleepovers on a regular basis. This tells child A that they are not accepted by you, so don't be shocked when eventually they don't want to go to your house.
I could go on and on forever. I just have people in my life who say one thing yet do the exact opposite. I can bet you money I will get a text when they are hanging out with someone I know that oh I miss you we need to visit. Ya know all I have to say in bullshit. If you really wanted a visit you would oh I don't know call, text, facebook, email. Something rather than wait till you need something before you call.
I did a little experiment a while back. I pretty much went radio silence I did not text anyone first. I would respond, but I wanted to see who really did text me and what relationships I was the one doing all the work. Most people did still text and call. Even if I did not first. Now there were a few that its been over a year now and I only receive texts from them when they want something.
It's funny how people think they can ignore you 364 days a year, but that one day they call or text you better come running. Well guess what I'm not running, your actions over the years have proven to me you don't care, you don't want the relationship, I'm only good to you if I can provide something. I just decided I was done trying to figure out what I did wrong and realize it's them not me and cut ties with them.
Relationships are two way streets. It cannot always be me calling, texting, loading the family up to visit you. Sometimes you need to call or text and hey maybe take a drive down to my place. Yes I know I'm going to hear well my kid has special needs or we are just really busy. Look the busiest person on earth could squeak out a quick "hey hows it going?" text. Takes just as long to send that text as it does to update your facebook status.