Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The Real Truth About Couples With Autistic Children

I get random stuff in the mail y'all know that. I got on some mailing list (don't ask how I don't have a clue) anyways I get just about every silly magazine around. Yesterday I received the August edition of Psychology Today. Right on the cover is a article titled The Truth About Couples With Autistic Children. Hmm this should be interesting. Typically Psychology Today doesn't do to bad. But yeah this was a epic fail beyond the normal "expert" perportions.

Brief overview since y'all can see it for yourself when they actually publish it online. Starts off tame enough, story about a little boy who wandered. Starts on the stress of having a autistic child, ok kinda roll your eyes but not to bad, then bame into the doom and gloom we are all doomed to fail BS. Serious in it they said that us parents don't even understand the strain ASD puts on our relationships. Ok I admit I didn't read the whole thing I couldn't. It was a lot of Autism Speaks propaganda and really it read like someone over at Age of Autism wrote this crap. So there you go in a nutshell just don't read it when it comes out its awful and does more harm than good like most articles seem too.

Now let us the parents tell you the real truth about us:
1) We are just like you. Yep just like any couple we fight, we laugh, we act silly sometimes, we get stressed out. Guess what we even have sex. No really I saw somewhere that the person said ASD makes your sex life drop. Umm well all kids do that but that is a whole other post.
2) We love our spouses. Unlike what the article says just because we have some extra stress doesn't mean we just go oh I don't love you anymore.
3) ASD does not destroy relationships. Say what you will but ASD is not the cause of divorce it's the people in the relationship.
4) yes some people crumble and break under stress, guess what if it wasn't ASD that was the stressor it would have been something else.
5) ASD is part of our lives. Everyday, every minute. Please don't compare me to your Dear Aunt Suise whose marriage imploded. I am not her, I am me.
6) Most of all every couples relationship ASD or not is unique. No so called expert can tell you that you are doomed.

It's unfair to say ASD causes divorce. I have yet to find any reliable source that states ASD raises the divorce rate higher than the already high divorce rate we have in the US. I mean look at the rate. 50% of all marriages will end in divorce. It has nothing to do with ASD it has to do with the fact that today's society looks at marriage as disposable. Oh times are rough ok let's divorce. Most don't try and stick it out. Here's the thing about marriage. No matter what your stressor may be ASD, loss of job, other illness and yes you will have them you have a choice. You can say this is too hard I can't do this and run for the hills (easy way out). Or you can stand up and work through your challenges and in reality make your relationship and yourself stronger.

So basically here's my point. Stop blaming ASD and everything else under the sun for people just throwing away relationships because it's too hard (boo hoo cry me a freaking river). Let's start making people take responsibility and tell the truth that they were weak, scared, whatever their reasoning and choose to run instead of staying and doing the hard work all relationships take.


  1. ... But that's exactly what the article says. It takes a few different personal stories and then examines them, saying that it's not the autism that breaks relationships, but problems that are already there.

    1. It's the tone of the article that sucks. It's all doom and gloom. Honestly I didn't read te whole thing because of the tone.