Suicide

Five weeks ago today I walked into every parents worst nightmare.  Lucy text me something was wrong, when I called she just said Roger is acting funny, I don't know whats wrong with him, I'm scared.

I was at work. I threw the site phone at a coworker said call boss lady I have to leave now. Not sure whats going on but I have to go.

I worked 20 min away. I called a neighbor to go check on things. When I spoke with him he said this is bad. I hung up and called 911.

When I reached my house I was greated by EMS, Fire, and CIT. We lit the street up like a christmas tree. At this point we still didn't know what was going on. All lucy could say was she found him on the floor, laying in puke, in a seizure and unresponsive. He was still unresponsive when I arrived. He would look the direction of voices but unable to talk. He would not be able to talk for days.

He was taken to the first hospital there they figured out he took something but we didn't know what. The care he needed was more than they could provide so we were transfered 2 hours away to Childrens.

We spent 36 hours between ERs before they got him a bed on the medical unit. In between all this he beat people, had to be restrained, and they were able to find out that he purposely overdosed on 4 different medications.

We spent 1 week on the med unit to medically stabalize him. They had liver, kidney, and heart issues (more on that later). After thst 1 week childrens Adolescent psych unit, followed by a week more at another hospital cliser to home inpatient, and now finishing up 2 weeks if partial hospitalization. Waiting for those three words discharge to home.

Once he is fully discharged our goal is to get him back into school and caught up. Yeah there is a story there too.

In the past 5 weeks I have lost my job, all saved money for christmas is gone, and insurance is a pain to deal with. Even with all that Roger is still alive and that is all that matters. I can get another job. So christmas will be very small. I can figure out insurance. I would not be able to replace my child. So we count ourselves lucky. Someone was looking over him that day 5 weeks ago.

Neurology

As many of you know Roger has struggled with headaches for the past few years. We were unsure if they were migraines or migraines caused by seizures. We had another follow up at the Neurologist a couple weeks ago. This time he was able to explain what was going on. With his explanation she was able to determine that more than likely we are dealing with migraines. So he was started on medication to avoid the headaches.

Now the visit was not as simple as that. The whole visit his Doctor talked to him. She would reference me for clarification or verification, but other than that she spoke directly to him. Only he can describe what is going on. Now he does have some trouble when asked what the pain is like he just says pain. When she asked does it feel like a stabbing pain or a crushing pain his response was I don't know I have never been stabbed or had my head crushed before. She just kind of laughed and moved on.

Even the decision to start medication was not a easy one. We have avoided it for three years. The neurologist holds the same beliefs as I that medication is a last resort. So we tried different things and documented everything. Once puberty hit the headaches increased. The neurologist spent a good hour if not more with Roger. Besides her normal follow up exam, she also explained the pros and cons of the medication. She explained all possible side effects which some of them Roger pointed out I already have that so OK. In the end the choice was left up to him. Did he want to try medication or something else? He choose to give the medication a go.

So here we are. He was started on a anti-seizure medication and so far so good. Actually better than good. At first there were some problems with confusion. When asked if he wanted to stop taking it he said no lets do the full month trial first. At this point he is out of his room more, talking more, his stutter is gone, and he seems to be getting all his thoughts out. Is it the medication stopping misfires in his brain or just coincidence I don't know.  Do I think it is some magical cure all? No. Is it helping? Yes. SO now we wait and see where the headaches stand at the end of the month.

I'm Still Here

Yep I am still here. I didn't go anywhere. Life just got a little busy. With school starting, open houses, teacher meetings, and starting a new job.

Everything has settled down and I have lots to tell you about so stay tuned more posts coming soon. Everything from parent teacher stuff, juggling work and kids, and more.

The Outsiders

I'm one of the outsiders of the autism blogging world. I don't know I crossed someone a long time ago and you know my opinion and my experiances were not valid because they didn't match theirs. Of course the whole click (yes there are blogging clicks) turned their backs.  Honestly though I never really fit in with them.

Here's the thing I'm OK with it. I'm not the normal blogger. Heck I rarely post. I don't spend hours on my blog or Facebook page. I don't do a lot of things others do. Really just for the fact that others already do it. Do people really want to see the same question on every Facebook page? No. Do they want to hear the same story? I don't think so. So I do what I want and what fits us. I tell our story. I base things on my experiances not experiances on others,  if that ribs people the wrong way fine.

It's not that I don't care, maybe it's because I do. Only it's turned around. I could care less about numbers. Hey trust me they are really nice but telling a story that embarrasses my kid to get more likes. Yeah not going to happen.

My grammar and spelling, yes it needs a lot of help but you know this is a blog. I do my best but it has never been my strong suit.

Yes I am very opionated. If you ask me I will tell you what I think. No I will not back down just because you don't agree. Sure ill listen and look at what you have to say. It's called respect. Now when you start attacking I'm done.

Our family is not perfect. Some people have felt the need to take info they find out about us and use a fake profile to spread it around. Really? That's just lame. I mean what foes that do? Does it make you feel better that you know something that may not put us in the best light. So you tell a one sided very biased story with no facts. Oh and by the way your IP has been traced, I have a pretty good idea who you are. Hey if that's what you gotta do to build yourself up. If your that sad and pathetic that you would attack a family for fun. I really do feel bad for you. You must be a joy to live with.

So basically what I'm saying is, I'm still here. I will keep doing what I do. I will not sink to the rude peoples level.

Calming Glitter Bottle

I have seen this floating around the internet forever. We never really got around to trying it. That was until today. I was at the dollar store and saw glitter glue so I picked some up. It takes minimal supplies and not a lot of work. No crafting ability needed. (Big plus for me). So here are the directions.

Materials:
Glitter Glue (I used two small bottles from the dollar store but you could use one large as well)
Clear Glue (This I picked up from the grocery store for 99 cents)
loose glitter (We had some loose glitter that came with something so we just used what we had)
Water Bottle (I took one of husbands used large bottles)
Super Glue (Trust me glue the lid down or you will be sorry, Unless you like glitter floors)

1) Fill bottle halfway with warm water. Warm water helps dissolve the glue a little.

2) Add your Glitter Glue.

3)Add loose Glitter.

4) Add water until bottle is 3\4 full.

5) Add Clear Glue a little at a time. More glue = settles slower. More water = settles faster.

6) Once the glitter settles at your desired spread. Fill with water. Leave some air at the top.

Shaking it to dissolve the glue

7) Super Glue the lid on.

8) That's all your done.

We did more clear glue so the glitter does not settle. Lucy just likes watching the glitter move around but not the settling so much. She also had some stickers laying around, so she used one for decoration.

Your Boobs Do Not Affect Me or My Marriage

Yesterday I read not one but two blog posts about your boobs. Both along the lines of blaming another woman for issues in their marriage. One was titled my husband doesn't need to see your boobs. Well guess what honey your husband will see other peoples boobs. Or do you avoid all pools, parks, beaches, basically become a shut in during the summer? Get over it. Some chick posting a bikini pic on Facebook is not destroying your marriage. Really it is your own insecurities that are going a damn good job of that.

Look we all have problems in marriage. Hey it's not a fairy tale everything is perfect, but blaming others does not help. You need to look at what's you are doing, what your husband is doing, not bitch about the young hot thing who's wearing a bikini on the beach.

If you don't like how you look do something about it. Bitching on the internet does nothing. Really though if it is that big of a issue that you ban your spouse from social media during the summer I highly suggest you seek professional help. It's not good for you, your husband, your kids, or your marriage.

Here's the deal us married people can see a decent looking person and think wow he/she looks good. We can even think in our heads if I could just have 5min with him/her. That's normal and guess what it doesn't affect our marriage. None not at all. It's a passing idea. It has no say in how we view our spouse.

So it's not that your husband doesn't need to see her boobs. You need to lighten up and get over it.

Weekend

Did you all survive the long weekend? ours started off pretty shaky. Husband was supposed to have a 4 day weekend. Well that turned into a three day and then a two day. Side job needed to be done. So come Sunday he finally had a day off.

Sunday pretty much nothing got done. Smoked some ribs for dinner. Let the ducks out into the yard. Not really much. I ran some errands. One was off to ABC for liquor. While I was in there some guy walks back in after making his purchase and asks for another bag. No big deal right. Yeah he blurts out I need a bag some lady is going to give me her crabs. Umm OK dude. Cashier and I just stood there and stared at each other before finally laughing.



While my husband was playing with his grill, some guy drives up. Ok he helped us dig a ditch a few months ago, but we don't know him past that. We are not friends. We have talked to him maybe twice, for less than 5 min. Anyways he comes driving up and asks to park his camper right in our front yard oh and he doesn't know how long. Who does that? Who asks someone they don't know hey can I park my ugly broke down camper in your yard. That would be a negative. No you can not park anything in my yard.

I only imagine this is what would have been left.

Then comes Monday. The day of the cook off. Husband smoked a pork butt and a beef brisket. Most of the day was quiet and later on people started to come. We had probably 30 people here. Man were there some stories. Everything from a flip flop flying to a broken chair.

One of the neighbors was being silly and teasing me. So yeah I took my flip flop off and tossed it at him. Direct hit, his hat went flying. Everyone laughed because yeah I was not trying to hit him.

Another male neighbor grabbed my husbands ass, that was like hmm OK then dude where did that come from.

Everyone ate and everyone was happy.

To end the night husband sat in a old plastic chair and it broke. Husband is fine the chair well we will be having a funeral later in the week for it.



Then I get up this morning and wow the kitchen blew up. That was fun cleaning up.